Imperfection To Success

I’ve become a lot more thoughtful the past few weeks and have this need to write it all out. Maybe it’s the state of Washington and this dinky crappy weather that’s happening lately. Also, I saw on the news this morning that we will only be getting 9 hours of daylight. How depressing is that??
I often question myself if I’m telling too much information about myself as I blog for the world wide web to see, but I think as I get older I care less about how others form their opinions about me.

Those who don’t know me so well and even those who do may look at me and think: success, leader, confident, well-rounded, organized. But in reality I have many imperfections that people don’t see. Why am I telling you this? I want people to know that even the most successful people can be a bit neurotic, a little out of control, and may have had crazy pasts, but those experiences make us who we are today. We are human, we have emotions, we struggle. It’s OKAY.
Just because some of us has a secure job doesn’t mean we’re rolling in dough or that it was handed to us.
Just because some of us are supervisors, directors, coaches, teachers, etc., doesn’t mean that we don’t have weak moments as we stand in front of crowds making meaningful speeches.

Here are some of the not-so-fabulous things that’s happened to me since living here:
Reconsidered living in WA and what other things I could do without this job (hellooo
Got frustrated, walked away, and cursed under my breath at my own team
Embarrassed myself at a rugby social (no details needed)
Said stupid things because I decided to be selfish and impatient so I might’ve scared someone off I care about
Cried myself to sleep 3 nights in a row
Questioned life way too many times to count on two hands
Ate way too much ice cream in one sitting (I swear I’m not an emotional eater, I just love ice cream)
Slacking on walking my dog, now some people think she is fat :/
While in the meantime I also did the following:
I held the door open for strangers I didn’t know and made them smile
I donated some moolah for a good cause
Improved rugby skills for rookies and vets, showing how talented they can be and the greatness that I see in them
Helped someone excel at their PRT
Gave phenomenal life and relationship advice (something I should take myself but don’t)
Hit 4 PR’s at the gym (deadlift, push press, jerk, and clean)
Drove some drunk kid home I didn’t even know
Increased my savings account significantly while maintaining my checking account so one day I can invest in a house/condo
Making a good habit of lighting candles and drinking tea every night
I may appear successful on the outside.. and I am in some way, but its taken me many years to get to where I’m at. Going to class every day for 6 years, fighing to stay awake and pay attention. Getting up at 5am every morning just to teach a boot camp class to make ends meet. Putting a smile on my face when some days I just wanna mean mug people. Putting up with people’s bullshit when they don’t deserve to be put up with.

Despite all my random issues, how did I get to where I am now? How do I deal/cope and continue to be successful?
I keep in close contact with my good friends from back home, they know me best and always bring me back to where I need to be
I stay humble in all things I do and know that others don’t have the priviledges I have
I give and help just because I get these weird fuzzy feelings in my heart and don’t expect to receive anything back
I workout my stress and frustration or play rugby and tackle someone reeeal good
I write depressing yet meaningful poems because the end product is always beautiful despite the pain
I’m not afraid to set aside my pride and admit when I’m wrong or ask for help
I look at motivational images or try to read at least 1 health article each day
I think about the end goal and bring myself back to reality so I can reach my goal
I remember those who are not here today whom I keep close to my heart and live like I know they would want me to
Some of you might be able to relate, some might not. I would like to suggest to try one of those things and see how it can help change your life in a positive way. Before you fall asleep each night, ask yourself if you are happy with your actions. Do you feel as if you did your best today and are able to relax your mind to sleep? Or another way to ask, taken from The Biggest Loser’s old theme song from Heather Small…. “What have you done today, to make you feel proud?”Imp


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