Ending To A New Beginning

I can’t believe it’s already that time to fly back home after being deployed out for 4 months. All those moments anticipating and counting down the days until I get to be on land and see my friends and dog again has just seem to flown by quickly, now that it is that time. Only 4 months but so much has happened to me within that time. I’ve been pushed, tested, challenged… mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually with this job than I have ever experienced; and yet there’s something about it that I’m gonna miss.
I’ve been to places that I thought I’d never ever be able to visit. I’ve met so many people of different cultures and backgrounds and made a few friends along the way. This is only the beginning of my job and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me ahead.
I have a whole new appreciation for people who have been/are deployed, especially for the Stennis sailors who have been on back to back deployments of 7-8 months each. Being away from family, newborns, significant others, friends.. it’s insane that they have been gone for almost 2 years, and so I tip my hat off for these people being out here doing the same monotonous thing almost every day. Yet the same thing they do are making a big impact for those living in the states. Thinking about that makes me appreciate my job even more… I can only hope that I’m able to provide an outlet for the sailors to release their stress, have something to look forward to each day, and make the days go by faster. My goal to this day and always has been each time I enter into something new, is to make a positive impact on at least 1 person. In turn, affecting 1 person in a good way can hopefully have them do the same to someone else and so forth and so on. Next thing you know, the positive atmosphere is spreading, one by one.
I’ve always been an optimist, seeing the glass half full. I’ve gone through days on the ship when people have sucked the last bit of optimism out of me. Happiness wasn’t in me anymore and I wanted out. Days when I couldn’t get away from people always wanting something so petty. Days when eating lunch and going to the bathroom was difficult without being bothered for something. Days when I laid in my rack, vulnerable, finding that the only thing I could do was write as my only outlet… wishing that people understood my position. Being the only one person having to satisfy 4000 people. Wanting to do more for the general sailors yet having to balance it out and do just as much for the higher-ups. I look back now and think of those days as my learning, growing, strengthening days to further myself in the future. As much as I hated those days, I somewhat appreciate those days.
I’m anxious to return home for a few weeks. Anxious to see my little one and hangout with friends who really know me. I’m leaving Hawaii tomorrow night with mixed emotions…


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